I saw a news report a few days ago, of an RCMP press release. They're looking for a shoplifter that fondled then fumbled. According to the report "the clerk clearly witnessed the male fumbling and stuffing three expensive battery operated male appendages in his clothing..." Very carefully worded. We wouldn't want to say dildos in an official press release.
When asked if he wanted to buy some batteries also, the man panicked and ran from the store. I haven't seen a followup as to whether anyone spotted the man running down the street - probably somewhat awkwardly. Perhaps they've set up stakeouts at nearby battery stores?
And in related news, I watched Father of the Bride last week on TV and one of the sponsors of it was KY Warming Gel. Of course, the ads aren't helpful as to what it's for. We were in the middle of a cold snap, so I wondered if it was a new winter product to keep your hands warm and supple, or maybe something slathered on the car engine to make it start easier. Ads show a couple, sitting in the living room, the new warming gel is suggested as a way to improve their relationship. Other uses for the original water/glycerin mixture are said to be hair gel, lip gloss, and a treatment for puffy eyes. Not sure what the couple on TV have in mind.