Dealing with sadness

Going through the stages, the moods.

Well, today my mood about moving to a new place is one of occasional excitement. Defcon 1.5?

When I got my eviction notice August 19th my reaction/mood was of surprise, soon followed by anger, of Defcon 5. Seven years as a more than ideal tenant, and I'm out! Just like the previous place had turfed me after 3 years. But I added some understanding to my mood, as in both cases it was the landlord or family moving in, which is allowed. In this case, he and his girlfriend were both facing a winter working from home in a small one-bedroom apartment. Okay, I got it, but my next reaction was still one of panic.

I had to find a place, in the area or elsewhere (decision!), get a mover, probably downsize, and pack. All in the midst of COVID times. This should all have been a challenge I could manage, but as I posted previously, I found it more stressful than I expected. Luckily, I was seeing a therapist for another issue, so we added this briefly to the list and I was able to talk it out. I drew up some plans and lists and added an occasional mood of confidence and control. Panic became anxiety, which was a good thing. Initially, I thought I wanted my next place to be not in a high rise, but in a house, but the latter are very rare in my area. And, on reflection, I realized the downsides of a high rise were not as big as the downside of possibly being bumped out of yet another house, so my choices expanded, and my anxiety lessened. After seeing a number of apartments, I picked a nice place, one of the first I'd seen actually. It's in a good location, in a well-maintained building, with a nearby park and river, liveable price, great view, and mid-month date. Only a one bedroom, so there was a bump in anxiety - where do I put all this stuff?  Well, much has been moved around for years, so between Kijiji and give-away sites I have much less. And more confidence, even calmness, after doing a list of tasks and times to pack and move. 

Today is one of cautious excitement. Yes, I have lots to do, but I get my keys on October 10th, so can start moving in things like art and my computer and breakable pantry contents. The movers are booked for the 13th, and my son will come by to help. By the 14th I expect to feel tired, but happy. I'll be somewhat daunted by the pile of boxes to unpack, and all the art to hang, but I'll be happy with a more secure place. And there is no rush. The Bell interweb connection is scheduled for the 15th, and the weather is to be 16C and sunny, so I plan on some time that day on my balcony with coffee and reading material. 

I'll post some photos.   


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Patty Archer

I’m glad you are talking to a therapist. That has always been a big help to me. Even with being organized moving is still one of the more stressful things in life to go through.
I hope that life will be much happier for you in two weeks.


Thanks, I hope so too. My therapist was a young woman from Pakistan, we got along quite well. I trusted her enough to be open about my issues and concerns, knowing there would be neither judgement nor easy acquiescence. Often I already knew the answer ;-)

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