Raven's View

 Growing up in Toronto, there was always some doubt we'd have snow at Christmas. But if the 25th dawned with some fresh snow, it was a merry time for us kids, and our parents too. Not a lot of snow, just enough to make a snowman and go sliding and burn off some of those candy canes. This was not an issue for us when I lived up north, of course, as there the concern was whether we would get snowed in. 

For some, Christmas means feeling a little blue, maybe depressed over a loss, or over some unhappy holiday seasons in the past. And now, with short days and dreary weather, as we head into yet another year of COVID and restrictions/protections, this latest variant gives us one more thing to be blue about. It can be a challenge to be positive at times, but for myself, I'm happy just to wake up in the morning and be able to breathe. That's a good start. I've had less face-to-face contact with people over the past few years, but have made up for it a bit with online contacts, either through Facetime or my gaming. I've settled into a new apartment, have put up some art, and have a great gaming setup. I often don't get a lot accomplished each day it seems, so I do my 'to-do' list at the end of the day, reflecting on whatever did get done. This Omicron means more limits on our lives - or it should, if governments weren't so worried about offending people and losing votes. Vaccination and testing are a good solution, but the decision makers don't understand the logistics involved. Or how to convey their message. 

But I'm optimistic and think we will see a drop again in a few weeks. And hopefully, the worldwide infections can be reduced enough so that there are no longer denser areas where variants can evolve. It would be nice to head into summer this year, being able to see people smile and give them hugs.

It's a 'busy' time of the year, as if the rest of the year we weren't always busy with something. Busy is just defined as being occupied with something, as in not dead, right? However, as a holdover from the Puritan work ethic, and/or fussy grandmothers, it has come to mean doing meaningful work that is a high priority for the doer. Or the person judging them. When someone says they were too busy to do something, they just had more important things to do, whether that was focusing on an honest effort to get a job done or the slightly dishonest move of using the task to avoid another one. Such as me posting this so I will be too busy to do Christmas cards. Rather than admit to someone you have more important things to do than their particular task, and take the responsibility of disappointing them, or being honest you had chickened out and risk losing face, it's easier to claim you were busy (as opposed to the rest of the world that is not busy?) and shift the responsibility of your choice onto some unknown busy-ness force. Yes, it is one of my pet peeves ;-)

I've had this topic in mind for a while. Ironically, I delayed sitting down to write because I was still trying to find my own balance. Not really physically, although old age and winter weather can make that more of a challenge - no, metaphorically. A balance in life, between things we should do and things we would like to do. And the end of  the day, the reality of the things we actually did do. Or missed out on. 

We spend our lives doing this balancing act. School and family and work can help in a way, adding structure and constraints, removing some freedom of choice. But, once family is done with (mostly) and the 9 to 5 daily slog is done, there are many more choices, many more possibilities, many more consequences to weigh. And The Covid, with the accompanying lockdowns and limitations, has reduced some options, changed others. Never mind the influence continued stress and worrying has on our decision making process. 

So here I sit, writing a post while I make some blueberry jam. Both activities that call for a focus, as I can either lose my train of thought, or the jam. Or both. But I've learned it helps lately to cut myself some slack, to allow for a certain lack of focus, to not be "productive", to not always be busy-busy. Again, that needs a balance, right?. When does an interest become a passion and then an obsession, pushing other options right off the table? Like playing a simulator game and streaming it daily. I started with trains years ago, then trucks (ATS/ETS2) and now Farming Simulator 2022. I'm up to streaming, via Restream.io, to Twitch, Youtube, Facebook, Twitter, Steam, Trovo Live, and VK.com. I've accumulated followers on each platform, who seem to appreciate my laid back calming style. We even do multi-player sometimes.  I'm really enjoying it, but I do realize that eventually my growing pile of 'things to do' will lose its balance and fall over. I'll deal with it then.