Raven's View

 TL;DR - When it's all about you.

(Note - edited Aug 19)

• When you say your behaviour is inexcusable, then offer up excuses, refusing to accept responsibility.
• When you apologize, then expect the other person to do their part and pardon/forgive you.
• When your motivation, and any regrets you feel, are only based on others now seeing you as a bad person. BTW - you'll know this if you immediately feel better, no more regrets or shame.

What might be a good apology?

• Start with "I'm sorry." Not just regrets.
• Add in, carefully, details such as 'sorry I hurt you, sorry I crashed your car, sorry I ignored you."
• Acknowledge the consequences of what you did.
• Offer a plan on how you will fix this wrong and how you will try to avoid it again.
• Be clear that any forgiveness/pardon/trust is entirely up to them.
• Push back, gently, if they try to say it was nothing. If you hurt them, then it was something.