Thursday, the whatever of October

PXL_20211020_210536757My time sense has faded with Covid and lockdowns, but I think tomorrow is TGIF day. I'll need to remember to rave about it if I meet anyone. Today was a grey day, and cool, but I did get out for a walk, which helped. And streamed/chatted with friends. I'm gradually looking at less of the Facebook, before it explodes into the Multiverse, but have noted a few tidbits throughout the day for you. Whoever you are out there. I'll try to do this daily, as a relaxing reflection for myself after supper.

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RP - Too much freedom.

Repost from Feb 6/23

Too much freedom

 - Are more structures and constraints a good thing?

Photo-1454942901704-3c44c11b2ad1I need to try sketching again. My son and I got into it last summer, using just the basic pen and ink and paper. He kept going and is still enjoying it. I didn't. Fear of failure? A general lack of ambition? I don’t know. Not that I haven’t been busy, as there is no shortage of sparkly things to grasp at. Still, it feels lately that I’ve been wasting my days doing fun but less challenging things - like playing games or watching videos or reading fantasy books or surfing the interwebs. Yes, I am retired and I can do anything I want, so maybe it really isn’t wasting, but still . . .

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When is an apology not an apology?

51404667741_c029a13c79_e TL;DR - When it's all about you.

(Note - edited Aug 19)

  • When you say your behaviour is inexcusable, then offer up excuses, refusing to accept responsibility.
  • When you apologize, then expect the other person to do their part and pardon/forgive you.
  • When your motivation, and any regrets you feel, are only based on others now seeing you as a bad person. BTW - you'll know this if you immediately feel better, no more regrets or shame.

What might be a good apology?

  • Start with "I'm sorry." Not just regrets.
  • Add in, carefully, details such as 'sorry I hurt you, sorry I crashed your car, sorry I ignored you."
  • Acknowledge the consequences of what you did.
  • Offer a plan on how you will fix this wrong and how you will try to avoid it again.
  • Be clear that any forgiveness/pardon/trust is entirely up to them.
  • Push back, gently, if they try to say it was nothing. If you hurt them, then it was something.

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How about a new year that's at least not any worse?

271042867_2225246824306349_949975594512874994_nMy friend Steph posted this from Melbourne - looks like a great start to the year. 

I spent New Year's Eve with a good book (Wheel of Time series), some quiet jazz, and a glass of wine or two. I actually missed midnight, not checking the time until 12:10 a.m. Oh well.

I was reviewing my own 2021 for highlights. The first one is surviving COVID, I guess. Next one is surviving a UTI, severe dehydration, a collapse, and my first hospital stay since I was 6. All is good now. On a more positive note, I've really got into online streaming, especially for Farm Simulator, and built a good following. I've settled into my new place just fine, and had pleasant visits with my kids. Kept my sanity, too. That's pretty well it for 'success' I guess, as like many of us I have set the bar pretty low. 

My New Year's Resolution is to journal daily - more to track the day's highlights in the evening than set up an overly optimistic plan in the morning. I would like to finally start my podcasting, as well as lose weight, scan in boxes of photos, travel - lots of plans but my Traveller's Notebook will be the base I think. And I'll continue to avoid Facebook if I can.

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White Christmas, or a blue one?

PXL_20211219_181021881 Growing up in Toronto, there was always some doubt we'd have snow at Christmas. But if the 25th dawned with some fresh snow, it was a merry time for us kids, and our parents too. Not a lot of snow, just enough to make a snowman and go sliding and burn off some of those candy canes. This was not an issue for us when I lived up north, of course, as there the concern was whether we would get snowed in. 

For some, Christmas means feeling a little blue, maybe depressed over a loss, or over some unhappy holiday seasons in the past. And now, with short days and dreary weather, as we head into yet another year of COVID and restrictions/protections, this latest variant gives us one more thing to be blue about. It can be a challenge to be positive at times, but for myself, I'm happy just to wake up in the morning and be able to breathe. That's a good start. I've had less face-to-face contact with people over the past few years, but have made up for it a bit with online contacts, either through Facetime or my gaming. I've settled into a new apartment, have put up some art, and have a great gaming setup. I often don't get a lot accomplished each day it seems, so I do my 'to-do' list at the end of the day, reflecting on whatever did get done. This Omicron means more limits on our lives - or it should, if governments weren't so worried about offending people and losing votes. Vaccination and testing are a good solution, but the decision makers don't understand the logistics involved. Or how to convey their message. 

But I'm optimistic and think we will see a drop again in a few weeks. And hopefully, the worldwide infections can be reduced enough so that there are no longer denser areas where variants can evolve. It would be nice to head into summer this year, being able to see people smile and give them hugs.

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